It has been a rough few weeks. There has been a lot of anxiety in the house regarding daycare and the financial strain that it poses. We are in a pretty tight place until either C or I gets a raise. I am up for a promotion but even if I get it, I won’t see the difference on a paycheck until the end of August.
To add fat to the fire, V has been getting aggressive with her sisters and we are trying to nip that in the bud before someone gets hurt. The twins have been going through that separation anxiety phase that normally happens around age 1. And we’ve been working whole milk into their diet so I can stop pumping at work and they reverse cycled a bit for a few days there.
All of that has left me feeling roughly like a zombie. I drink coffee, Mt. Dew, tea – none of the caffeine seems to put a dent in the exhaustion. I know I need to just start going to bed earlier but things seem to keep coming up and the next thing I know my head is hitting the pillow at midnight once agan.
The other night I forced myself to at least go upstairs early. The plan was to read for 10 or 15 minutes and then go to sleep. Of course, as soon as I got up the stairs I realized I had been meaning to change the sheets for weeks and still hadn’t done it. So I took the time to finally do it.
I must admit that it felt very good to slip between clean sheets for a few minutes with Asimov. But who am I kidding? I can’t read for just 10 or 15 minutes. Before I knew it, the clock read 11:30 and S was ready for her midnight snack. I got her fed and finished getting myself ready for bed just in time to lay down at midnight. But at least the sheets were comfy.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could change our bad habits as easily as we change sheets and with such pleasant results? I know I would be a better wife, mother, employee, and person in general if I took better care of myself. But knowing that I need to change (and what I need to change) is much easier than actually doing it.